Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...

My Dear Almond Poppy Seed Muffin,

It is with heavy heart and mild regrets that I write this letter to you, Almond Poppy Seed Muffin. You have been a cherished part of my life these past nine months. You have made monthly visits to our home and filled my tummy with your pleasantness. However, the time has come that I must give you up, let you go, say good-bye.

It's not you, it's me. You are so delicious! You are so fun to snarf down on a sunny/rainy/cloudy Saturday morning. You see, too many times I have consumed you and thought nothing of it because I was pregnant. Now the time has come that we part our separate ways... my thighs, arms, abs, and behind are begging me to let you go.

I chose to indulge one last time this morning. I know I will regret it when I have to run two extra hours on the treadmill. Know I will be thinking of you as I lift weights and do Pilates. You have left your mark on me and it will take a lot of time for those marks to leave.

I will try not to miss you as I joyfully erase the cellulite from my body. I will reflect on the fond memories of you, but not allow myself to cheat. I will remove you from my monthly Costco shopping sprees, unless for the purpose of purchase for my children. You will be missed.

Take care and know that another consumer will be happy to take my place. As some woman on "Judge Joe Brown" so eloquently put it, "Don't chase me, replace me." It's time we both move forward in our lives.

Sincerely,
~Stephanie